Ted’s Crazy Golf, Shoreditch

Ted’s Crazy Golf takes the former Temper site at 78 Great Eastern Street on Friday 16 October 2026, the date its own London page gives. Its opening hours there are Tuesday to Thursday 4pm to 11pm, Friday 4pm to 11.30pm, Saturday noon to 11.30pm and Sunday noon to 8pm, with the last round an hour before close. The company gives the size as 5,500 square feet and the format as two 9-hole courses.

The courses are Bad Bones, a gothic graveyard of talking gargoyles, skeletons and a man-eating Venus flytrap, and Toys Bite, built for London, where childhood toys have become vampires: a six-foot vampire robot, a bear strapped to an operating table, a jack-in-the-box called Buddy in a Box. It is the work of Larissa Sophie Houghton, a magician and experience designer, and her company Anger MGMT Venues, whose first Ted’s opened at Westgate Oxford in August 2026 in what had been Junkyard Golf Club.

Food and drink come from the Deadbeat Diner, a version of a retro American diner: pizzas, hot dogs, milkshakes, ice-cream floats and slushies, with a bar, themed cocktails and a caddy service that brings drinks to the course.

Worth knowing

Tuesday to Thursday 4pm to 11pm, Friday 4pm to 11.30pm, Saturday noon to 11.30pm, Sunday noon to 8pm, with last golf an hour before close. It is opposite the Hoxton Hotel, three minutes from Old Street and ten from Shoreditch High Street or Liverpool Street. The opening date, 16 October, is on its London page; no prices are, and the booking page shows them only inside its booking widget, which we could not read when we checked on 13 October 2026, so none are given here.

What it looks like

Shoreditch is not open to photograph yet, so these are the Oxford venue, which opened in August, and the artwork for the London courses. Both were supplied by Ted’s Crazy Golf.

Booking

Rounds are booked as quarter hour slots from 4pm to 10.15pm, and the two courses are sold separately. Ted’s publishes no prices anywhere on its site: they appear only once you have picked a date, a time and a course in its booking widget, so we cannot quote one here. Opening night, Friday 16 October, is already the thin one: checked on 13 October, Toys Bite was sold out at every slot and Bad Bones had gone at 4pm and 7pm, with the rest still open. If you want the toy course on the first night, you are too late; a later date is the answer.