Date night in London: ideas that are not just dinner

The problem with date night ideas is that most lists are a restaurant round-up with a candle emoji. This one is organised by the thing that actually matters, which is whether you need to talk, whether you need something to do, and how much you want to spend.

If you have not met before

You want somewhere with a natural end and something to look at. A museum late is the best first date in London and several are free: Tate Modern until nine every Friday and Saturday, the V and A’s Friday Late, the National Gallery every Friday until nine. There is something to talk about in every room and leaving early is easy.

Avoid anything with a two-hour minimum table, and avoid the cinema, which is two hours of not talking.

If you want to do something rather than sit

An activity bar works better on a second or third date than a first, because losing at darts in front of a stranger is a lot. Crazy golf and shuffleboard are the gentlest of them.

Cheaper and better: walk the Regent’s Canal from Little Venice to Camden, or Angel to Victoria Park. It is free, it takes about an hour, and it is a conversation with scenery rather than a performance.

If you want it to be cheap and still good

Free evensong at St Paul’s or Southwark Cathedral, then a walk. Free foyer music at the Southbank Centre most evenings, then the river. One New Change roof terrace at sunset, which costs nothing and looks like it cost something.

Our free things guide has the rest, and none of it reads as cheap.

If you want the memorable version

Sir John Soane’s Museum by candlelight on the first Tuesday of the month. It is free, it is ticketed, the tickets go within hours, and it is the most atmospheric hour in London. Set a reminder for the release.

Wilton’s Music Hall down an alley behind Cable Street, for the room as much as the show. A candlelit concert in a building you would not otherwise get into. The late show at Ronnie Scott’s, which starts near midnight and is cheaper than the main sitting.

If it is going well and you want to stay out

This is the part most date guides skip. Where you are determines whether you can. Dalston, Shoreditch, Peckham and Soho all have somewhere still serving at one; large parts of west and south London do not.

The Night Tube runs Friday and Saturday only, which is worth knowing before you order another round on a Wednesday. Our late drinking guide covers which areas actually go on.

Two things that reliably do not work

A rooftop in February, however good the photograph looked. And anything with a ninety-minute time limit on the table, because being moved on mid-conversation ends the evening whether you are ready or not.

What is actually on tonight, rather than what merely exists, is on our tonight page.